Wednesday, June 19, 2013

It's in my profile

This is going to come as a surprise to those of you who haven't had a chance to talk to me; I get accused of having a very sarcastic attitude. I am not sure where I get that label from because these days I am beginning to believe if it isn't listed on a Twitter or Facebook profile then it can't be true. I do plead guilty to being a firm believer of Bill Engvall's "Here's your sign" rules for stupid people though.

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

1) It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

2) A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine. We pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope -Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

3) I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

4) Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and asked, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist so I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

5) We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Dang that's hot!" See! If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him before we took that drive!

6) Then there was the guy with the 18-wheeler... Wouldn't ya know he misjudged the height of the overpass... The truck got stuck and he couldn't get it out no matter how he tried. He radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning.. ok.. no problem. The guy thought, "He can't say it, he's a paid official..." He thought sure he was clear of needing a sign... until the cop asked "So.. is your truck stuck?" The guy couldn't help himself! He looked at the cop, looked back at the rig and then back at the cop and said "No I was delivering this overpass and my truck stalled... here's your sign."

7) One day I locked my keys in my car and as I was standing there with a coat hangar halfway thru the top of my window, a guy walks up and says," Lock yer keys in the car?" Without missin a beat I said, "Nope, Just washed it and was hanging it up to dry."

I bring this up because there are just times when I truly wonder about people especially those who call themselves "insiders" or "experts." Seriously if you have to put it on your own profile then that should be the warning sign for those who make the mistake of trying to have a conversation with you.

It is like those who when a coach is hired that they think he is also going to be the general manager too. Unless he is actually hired for that job then that should be your first clue that no he will not be making the trades or selecting who they pick in the draft.

Now 90% of you I don't need to say this to so I apologize for this but for the other 10%, read this closely.

The General Manager is not hiring the coach so he can also do his job as well. I would love to see whoever the Rangers actually do hire to be the next coach to walk into Glen Sather's office and tell him what moves to make. I also want to see how far a 69 year old man can kick a person's ass out of his office as boy that would be a sight to see.

There is a big difference between offering an opinion and actually telling the General Manager what moves to make. If you are foolish enough to think otherwise then I suppose we will need to get you a sign too.

But it did strike me tonight why do people feel that they need to say they are a "insider" on their profile? I actually went to my own Twitter profile page to see what I said about myself and I have "Cover" not "insider" or "expert" so no wonder there are those who don't take me seriously when it comes to the prospect world.

They most likely think I either guard the prospects or place them in some sort of wrapping to keep them safe. I found it interesting enough to investigate to see what my peers have on their profile and I was amazed to see that those who are actual experts on the prospects don't say that they are nor do they claim any kind of superior intellect on the subject either.

Then there are those who happen to be legit "insiders" when it comes to what is going on in the hockey world but yet none of them have the word "insider" on their profiles. How in the world will anyone know that this person is an actual expert if he doesn't tell them he is?

Don't worry for those of you who don't have a sign that I will be glad to help you come up with one that fits you. Trust me it will be exactly what fits you.

So what is really going on?

I was lucky enough to be asked to join some of the people who love to cover the hockey world to be a part of this. When the wraps come off then expect to see hockey coverage meant for all hockey fans by some really dedicated folks.

More on this soon.

No comments: